Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Relaxation? What is that?

What a crazy last few months we have had. Our family has been busy w/ everything we have going on. Getting a moment to breathe is a rare let alone having a break. Oh my. So I am taking a break to breathe and write a blog.

My summer was super crazy and so busy. I decided to take a summer class, (a required class I had to take anyway) and I am both glad and not so glad I did. My class was 2hrs a day for 4 days a wk. Mon-Thurs...starting at 8 am. That is a lot of time to spend at school...and also a lot of homework time since I had 4hrs worth every night. It was a lot to ask of myself and my family. Going to school in the summer kept me from my kids for a part of the time...but it wasn't all bad for them. They were able to spend their summer playing outside, having a few adventures of their own. They spent time w/ their Aunts (from both sides) and their Uncles. They got to grow their own independent spirits which I am super happy about. While I spent a lot of time on my schooling (and paper. Started w/ a brand new 5 subject notebook and at the end of my 2 months of summer school, I had used 2.5 "subject" sections), it was worth it. I got that class over and done w/ right away and w/ no other class to worry about.

Now I am back at school for my "third semester" of college and man has it been super busy. I took my first test 3 wks into the new semester and have had at least one test every wk since then. I have another test this wk which means that I have had a month of tests. Lol. I am enjoying most of my classes this semester including the one I thought I probably wouldn't. I really must admit I really love programming and writing my own code. Who would of thunk it? But I also am regretting not paying attention to my husband all these yrs. Well I wish I would have at least paid more attention. Lol. Oh well. Gives Levi and I something else to talk about and have in common. I am even teaching him somethings. Lol.

We have also had a big adjustment in our house. The oldest has started kindergarten this yr. This has been a hard adjustment on my kids as they are basically like twins and are literally each others best friend. Being separated from each other for long periods of time was difficult situation for them to over come but it seems they have finally come to terms w/ this and are even enjoying it. It is given them a chance to grow as individuals. The oldest also loves it. He comes home and tells us that he learned "everything" when we ask him what he learned for the day. And he says it in a very matter of fact way. Lol.

Another exciting thing for our family: it looks like a family from a far is moving up here this way. They stayed w/ us for about a wk while they had a look around and looked at some places. It was wonderful. The kids played together and us adults were able to catch up w/ each other. We also had a wonderful "crazy night" when we all went out to chuck e cheese's. The kids had a blast. We are hoping they are able to move soon. It is going to be so wonderful to have them up here. Levi will be able to see and hang out w/ the cousins he grew up w/. The kids can all play together and have play dates. And I, for one, fully plan on having a girls-night and take my cousin-in-law out around the town.

I really must also admit I am enjoying my last 4 days off from school. Jack Frost gave us an epic snow day to be remembered. The huge snow drift in front of my house and the fallen tree have proven that. Altho the 27hrs of no heat sucked...but we all survived and proved we are pretty ingenious when it comes down to things. Tea candles are for more than just lighting up jack-o'-lanterns. Lol.

Now back to my crazy life and busy schedule. Hoping things settle down soon so I can take a much needed breather.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lucky number 7

Levi and I will have been together 7yrs next month. Kinda crazy to think about. Even crazier to think about how our relationship came about, evolved, and works. We truly are not a normal couple. We don't follow social norms or conventions.

Levi and I knew each other a wk before we got together. We were together only 2 wks before we unofficially moved in together and together 2 months when we officially moved in together. We were together a yr before we were engaged, 2 yrs when we were married.

Even our "family" life isn't normal. We were together only 6 months before I got pregnant. (Found out at 7 months together). I got pregnant again right away after our first child was born...we found out when he was 6 months old. Our children are literally 13 months apart.

It is kinda funny to think when "marriage" was brought up. During the first 3 days together, we talked about everything including our own personal beliefs (or lack of belief) in marriage. And that was it. We never brought it up again...not even when we found out I was pregnant. It just wasn't "important" to either of us when we found out....which, of course, makes me feel like our marriage is even better. Neither one of us pushed the matter on the other. Levi came to his own decision on whether or not to marry me. I didn't pressure him, and he didn't pressure me. Nor was there any pressure from either one of our families. Of course, no discussion of marriage or engagements at all made the proposal all that much more surprising and better...and special.

Of course, our wedding was on our own time as well. We didn't "race" anyone to the alter. We just got married when we decided to. Our wedding was made very special because even tho our wedding was small, all our family was there... his sisters, mom, and dad; my parents, and siblings. Everyone who meant the world to us. It was not just "a quickie to make it legal" nor a "race." It was our moment of love being celebrated in front of everyone we loved. Our family was there to witness this and to support us.

The fact that each pregnancy brought us together instead of tearing us apart is also truly amazing. Not many couples survive a pregnancy that early in a relationship like we did. Nor do many couples survive a second pregnancy so soon after the first one. But we did...and grew so much closer together. Each of our children was conceived in love and nothing will ever change that.

Altho we have been "legally" (as in the eyes of the law) married for 5 yrs, Levi keeps saying that we have been married 7yrs. I believe this speaks volumes in itself. It means that from the very beginning, we have been committed to each other for the long hall. Yes, originally our plan was just to have a summer fling but both of us quickly realized that Fate had other plans for us. We loved each other and knew we would be together for a long time. Through good times and bad, we have been there for each other and will continue to be so.

We follow our own rules. We go by our own natural pace. We follow no one. We refuse to go by what others say. We find out what works for us and go by that even if it isn't considered "right." Seven yrs together has taught us many things. More importantly, seven yrs together has taught us that only we can define us, no one else. Our relationship is our relationship. No one can change anything in our relationship but us.

We are equals in this relationship. Neither one controls the other. We both have a say in what happens. We are both willing and wanting to be in this relationship. We do not blackmail one or the other to keep them in the relationship. We fix the problems that make one or the other unhappy. We are open and honest w/ each other. We do not hide anything from each other. This is our relationship.

Seven yrs together plus two children and we are stilling going strong. Seven years of love and companionship with the most amazing man I know, my husband. My lover.

(Yeah my life rocks!)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bliss!

It is so wonderful to be able to snuggle w/ my husband every night and go to bed. It is perfectly wonderful to have the same schedule as my husband. Ah those 6 pain-in-the-ass months are just a memory now.

For 6 months, Levi and I had total opposite schedules. He worked all night long while I slept. He would sleep while the kids and I were at school. He had wkends off while I worked. I spent the majority of my nights and wkends doing homework otherwise. Totally opposite schedules. The only time we really had together as a family was dinner. We made sure every night, we would eat together as a family.

But that is all over. He switched to days and the last 3 months have been amazing. We are all on the same schedule which is awesome. I am no longer working and Levi still have wkends off. I just love snuggling w/ my husband every night. The only thing that hasn't changed is that we still eat dinner together as a family...minus any date nights Levi and I have.

I seriously am just loving this. I love my family and having our family time. Now if it would just slow down on the rain so we can spend more time outside! lol.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Random moment

I love my classes this semester. In one of my classes, I was asked to write a paper on a remembered event and I chose the day my husband and I met. I actually really enjoyed writing this paper because it not only let me take a trip down memory lane but it also reminded me of a few things that I had forgotten.

For my paper, I had to recall thoughts, feelings and absolute images that I had to put into words. It was really pretty crazy because it reminded me that our meeting was totally unexpected and utterly unplanned. For me, it was just suppose to be a day of hanging out w/ friends.

Levi and I met through his cousin, Dan, whom had gotten a call earlier in the day from Levi wanting to hang out. The day we met was kind of a 'day of meetings' for my husband as he not only met me (Dan's friend) but Dan's newborn daughter, Endora and his baby momma for the 1st time. (A lil fact ppl seem to forget when they try to re-write history). (Can't introduce one person to another when you don't even know the 1st person in the first place). It was also the day I met my future in-laws, his sisters and mother.

I remember all the feelings I had and all the crazy things we did that. It is even crazier to think a wk after meeting, Levi and I were dating w/ the intentions of it being a summer fling. Lmao. Oh boy, did Fate have another plan for us. Almost 7 yrs later, we are married and have 2 kids together. Our relationship has survived a lot of crazy and turbulent times. Who knew I would find the love of my life right after high school.

(High school...full of nothing but horny immature morons who are looking for nothing but getting down your pants and the ridiculously foolish girls who believe their lies. And everyone wonders why I vehemently refused to date when I was in high school. Yeah I was way too smart to fall into that trap and had much better things to do w/ my time.)

I also had to write a paper about a remembered person in my life who had a major impact. I chose an old friend whom I no longer talk to but, nonetheless, had a major and lasting effect on my life. Her question stills has me puzzling over things. Anyway, the point of the paper wasn't just about the person...but also about all the people who had an effect on our lives. It reminded me, once again, that every person we meet leaves a lesson or impression on us, good or bad. It reminded me that life is a continuous journey w/ many stops, bumps, and lessons along the way.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

The whirlwind of crazy that is my life right now.

Kids, test, homework, housework, and classes. The last few months have just been a whirlwind of craziness. I have been so busy w/ school, kids and work that I barely get a breather. But I am taking one now. Can't believe I am almost done w/ my 1st yr of school! How crazy is that?!

This 1st yr is going great...minus the minor (and a few major) hiccups. My 1st semester was laid back and nice, which was totally perfect for going back to school for the 1st time in 6yrs. I really enjoyed and loved having the room for to breathe and expand my horizons. I got back into the groove of things much faster than I expected, altho I think it helped that all my classes were something I was interested in. I did extraordinarily well considering it was my 1st semester. I got all A's except one B...and had a very high GPA. I even made the dean's list!

The only major hiccup I had for my 1st semester was my uncle's death. He died the wk of my finals. It was a major blow for my family and I. It left me personally devastated. My uncle came into my life a very long time ago but became a permanent fixture in my life about 10yrs ago when he married my aunt. In many ways, he was my only and true uncle I ever had...despite the many uncles on my Dad's side. He made our (mine and my family's) lives so much brighter. I was extremely distraught and devastated when he was diagnosed w/ an inoperable brain cancer September 2011. I just couldn't lose my uncle! His diagnosis was part of the reason we moved back home and am I ever glad we did. I am so glad I got the time w/ him that I did. I am so glad I got to have that long talk w/ him after I got back.

A yr after he was diagnosed, we learned the chemo wasn't working for him. His tumor had not shrunk nor had it gotten any bigger. However, the chemo had done other things to him, damage. The chemo had caused my uncle to lose almost all his motor functions. He couldn't walk or stand on his own. He couldn't talk- he literally sounded like someone who had a stroke or someone who had been drinking. He was confined to a wheelchair and could barley feed himself. Despite all this, my uncle never lost his sense of humor. Throughout the whole ordeal, my uncle was always his happy, go-lucky, self and joked about everything. Even when he lost 3/4th of his toe from his dog chewing it off (he had an infection in the toe and she chewed it off to keep it from spreading and probably saved his life at the time), he would joke and laugh about it. Ultimately my uncle lost his battle w/ the cancer and died peacefully in his sleep. The loss of my uncle was unimaginably heartbreaking for us....but I am happy he is at peace now. His death was the black mark of my 1st semester, Christmas, and year. I miss him very much.

Despite the painful loss of my uncle, I went into my 2nd semester with hope and a purpose: to make my uncle proud. This semester has been super crazy w/ my full schedule of classes but I think I have managed it alright. I joined a honor fraternity/sorority, much to my family's delight. I am making new friends and coming out of my shell. I just might end up a social butterfly after this whole experience. lol. I still have a few wks of craziness to endure before the semester is over but I think I will enjoy it.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

School!!!!!!

Nine months ago my biggest concern was moving from there back to here. All the packing and stress of cramming to rambunctious kids into a stuffy truck. And of course the long 1000 mile drive thru three states. Getting the kids re-adjusted and settled back in to a slightly crazy house. (Hey large family life is bound to be slightly crazy! lol). Now I am going back to school and the kids are starting preschool. Crazy, I know!

It has been 6 yrs since I was last in school. I am somewhat scared but also so very excited to go back to school. My decision to go back to school was not an easy one or one I took lightly. But I feel it was the best decision. Most ppl in my position, a wife and mom of two, would tell you they are going back because of their children...whether it would be so they will be an example to their kids or so they can better their kids lives. And while my kids will always be a factor in every decision I make, I did not decide to go back for them. I made the decision ultimately for me. (I know, sounds selfish but hey I have a right to be somewhat selfish every once in a while!) I want to go learn, to challenge myself. To enrich my mind. The last few yrs, I have been restless and bored. I know what you are thinking. "What?! How can she be bored w/ 2 kids especially so close in age?! She is totally crazy!" And you are right. Being a stay-at-home mom is not easy by any means or boring since the kids are always doing something or getting into something.

But kids do grow up and they do need you less and less as time goes on. So you find yourself w/ more and more free time. (And let's face it, while the kids are watching their favorite shows/movies for the millionth time, you are totally not interested in it anymore). So you find things to fill your time. Lil hobbies. Reading that book you have had sitting around forever. That is what I did. I read. I just flew threw books. (Fast reader). Soon I was going through series. At one point I was reading seven different series. It was during those times, that I realized I was bored.

Not bored of being a stay-at-home mom or a wife. But in life, yes. I felt like I was at a stand still in a way. The kids were reaching the point where they wanted and needed to start preschool which means I wasn't needed as much. But that was my role...the stay-at-home mom. I also realized I craved knowledge. I wanted to be challenged in new ways. To push my limits (not just the kids pushing them. lol) So I decided I wanted to go back to school and this fall was the perfect time to do it since we had planned on the kids getting enrolled in preschool this fall anyway.

So we start a new chapter in our lives on Monday. I am going to the School of Mines for Electrical Engineering. I have all my school supplies ready to go. Our new desk for our office should be here in a few days. So I will have a place to study w/o the kids. The kids are excited to start school. Lil J has been bugging me about it all summer! lol.

I know that this all will take adjusting to for all of us and that there will be a period of trial-and-error. But that is ok. I also know there might be challenging times ahead but I feel we will get through it all. Just like we have before. What doesn't kill ya, only makes ya stronger!

So here is to my new and exciting chapter in my somewhat insane life!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Oh my!

It is hard to believe it has been 2 weeks since we moved. It seems like we have been here forever. Of course we had everything moved and unpacked before even the end of the first wk. And everything just fell into place. We fell back into our old routine pretty fast. (W/in the first 24hrs of being here, Lil A even fell into the whole running to his room to punish himself when he got in trouble. Lol).

I seriously love my house....and it really is a house. A huge 3 bedroom house w/ a huge yard (w/ tons of trees), a full (and huge) unfinished basement. A deck in the front and the back. The inside of the house is amazing. I have a built-in wine rack and bread box. A built-in spice cupboard. A pantry w/ pull out drawers Microwave above the stove (like my mother's) and dishwasher. Bay windows. Oh and a fireplace w/ a mantle which is currently holding all of my faery/dragon/wizard knickknacks. I have an awesome view of the hills. Totally awesome.

We haven't lived in a house since Levi and I first moved in together 6yrs ago. That house was a 4 bedroom house on the west side but Levi and I basically had our own apartment upstairs when we lived there...bathroom included. (A fact that use to piss off some of my old roommates). So living in house again is kinda weird but totally awesome.

I think the best part of our new house is the fact it is our own house. No duplex or townhouse. Our yard is our yard. We don't have to share it w/ anyone else. And the basement. The basement could be used for both storage (since it has built in shevles in one area) and a room...whether it be a living room or a bedroom. Either way the room would be huge.

The best part of where we live...it isn't the north side. I will never put my kids thru what I went thru growing up. The gang rapes 2 blocks away at a park. The weekly drive by shootings a block away. Ppl being constantly arrested in my front yard at 2 or 3 in the morning. Sirens and flashing lights waking everyone up in the house. The constant threat of violence. Never being able to be outside past 8pm even in the summer for fear of bad things happening. Yeah no thank you! I am very happy where we live.

The kids also love the house and their new room. They almost don't know what to do w/ all the room they have to roam and play. Almost. Lol.

Levi and I also realized just how big and quiet this house w/o the kids. They stayed the night at their grandparents house last night because their cousin was in town. This was the first time they have seen her in a yr and since she moved back. It was kinda creepy quiet and both of us kept thinking we should be checking on the kids. Lol. Ah the life of a parent.

Well anyway my new house is amazing with an awesome view...altho it feels like we have been living here forever. Levi and I are total parents...we need noise to relax because otherwise it is "too quiet!" Kids love the new place and know how to make it a home. So concludes this update of my life.