Pet peeves...

Rant moment....here are a few things that seriously piss me off about ppl and kids.

Your children are children...not your friend: I have often heard ppl say their children (who are under 18yrs old) are their "best friends."  No, they are your children. Your child should not have to fulfill your need for social interaction. They should only have to fulfill one thing in their life...being kids. If you have no friends...that is your issue not theirs. Deal with it. Assess why you have no friends and make the necessary adjustments, but do not pin that obligation on your child. In other words, grow up.

Your children are still children...not your "love": Children love their parents unconditionally (even when they do not deserve it) and give that love freely. While I agree children are one of the loves of any parent's life, it absolutely drives me bonkers when ppl (mostly girls) say their children are the loves of their lives especially when they have just been dumped by baby daddy/last lover. Your children should not have to fulfill your need for love. If you can't find love or get love, that is your problem. Not your child. Figure out your issues and deal w/ them but do not pin your need for love on your kids. You are suppose to shower them with love because that is your job, not the other way around. So in other words, grow up.

Your children are children...not bargaining chips or dollar signs: Children are not cash cows or way for you to hold your baby daddy/mama/most recent lover. Just because a guy/girl has sex with you or "in a relationship" with you does not mean they actually love you and want to be with you. I know many guys and girls who stay with their significant other because of the child. And yes the other person uses this to their advantage which is just plain wrong. If someone is forced to stay in the relationship because of a child, guarantee you they don't like you and will resent you. That unhappiness filters into everything and the child can see the unhappiness, anger, resentment and sometimes, out right hate for the other person. You aren't helping the child but simply damaging them. And people who get pregnant and have kids simply because it will bring them more money especially due to child support are beyond stupid and ridiculous. Children will not save your marriage/relationship and they are not your "money makers." Grow up  and realize that the relationship is over and move on. Also find some other way to get money....oh like get a JOB!

Another thing that seriously ticks me off: Buying gifts for your kids (whether that be for their b-day, Christmas, Easter, etc.) and then taking the gift away and selling it a month or so (or even less than a month) later (and making them watch their stuff get sold) simply because you couldn't afford it in the first place. If you can't afford it, don't get it. Otherwise if you do get it, taking something away of yours and sell it, not your kids' brand new toys. Electronics sell way better than toys anyway! I would rather sell off all my expensive electronics before I would ever take away any of my children's toys especially the new ones. Hell I would sell my most precious items before I would ever take away a toy that was a gift to them. A kid should never have to wonder when their new toys or any of their toys for that matter are going to be taken away from them to be sold (and I am not talking about the non-played with toys). How cruel can you get?! If your finances don't allow for you to buy your child a gift, then save up until you can. Or get your crap together so you can i.e. Get A JOB!!! Pawn that computer you have so you can get them something if you must, but don't ever buy something for your child and then take it away to be sold. So in other words, grow up and be the adult. Sell your crap first and don't leave your child wanting for something or wondering why their toys have to be sold while you continue to buy a bunch of crap for yourself or play on your computer.

So to conclude my lil rant: Children are freaking children. They are not bargaining chips, cash cows, your bff, or the "love of your life" simply because you got dumped. Grow up and realize these things. Being a parent is about sacrifice. Meaning the adult sacrifices things for their child so their child can have a wonderful life. Not the other way around. Sacrifice the things you have/want/need so your child can have what they have/want/need. But don't ever take something away from them especially a gift, simply because you are too selfish to give up anything you have or to lazy to get a job to pay your bills.  So grow up and be adults!!!

Relaxation? What is that?

What a crazy last few months we have had. Our family has been busy w/ everything we have going on. Getting a moment to breathe is a rare let alone having a break. Oh my. So I am taking a break to breathe and write a blog.

My summer was super crazy and so busy. I decided to take a summer class, (a required class I had to take anyway) and I am both glad and not so glad I did. My class was 2hrs a day for 4 days a wk. Mon-Thurs...starting at 8 am. That is a lot of time to spend at school...and also a lot of homework time since I had 4hrs worth every night. It was a lot to ask of myself and my family. Going to school in the summer kept me from my kids for a part of the time...but it wasn't all bad for them. They were able to spend their summer playing outside, having a few adventures of their own. They spent time w/ their Aunts (from both sides) and their Uncles. They got to grow their own independent spirits which I am super happy about. While I spent a lot of time on my schooling (and paper. Started w/ a brand new 5 subject notebook and at the end of my 2 months of summer school, I had used 2.5 "subject" sections), it was worth it. I got that class over and done w/ right away and w/ no other class to worry about.

Now I am back at school for my "third semester" of college and man has it been super busy. I took my first test 3 wks into the new semester and have had at least one test every wk since then. I have another test this wk which means that I have had a month of tests. Lol. I am enjoying most of my classes this semester including the one I thought I probably wouldn't. I really must admit I really love programming and writing my own code. Who would of thunk it? But I also am regretting not paying attention to my husband all these yrs. Well I wish I would have at least paid more attention. Lol. Oh well. Gives Levi and I something else to talk about and have in common. I am even teaching him somethings. Lol.

We have also had a big adjustment in our house. The oldest has started kindergarten this yr. This has been a hard adjustment on my kids as they are basically like twins and are literally each others best friend. Being separated from each other for long periods of time was difficult situation for them to over come but it seems they have finally come to terms w/ this and are even enjoying it. It is given them a chance to grow as individuals. The oldest also loves it. He comes home and tells us that he learned "everything" when we ask him what he learned for the day. And he says it in a very matter of fact way. Lol.

Another exciting thing for our family: it looks like a family from a far is moving up here this way. They stayed w/ us for about a wk while they had a look around and looked at some places. It was wonderful. The kids played together and us adults were able to catch up w/ each other. We also had a wonderful "crazy night" when we all went out to chuck e cheese's. The kids had a blast. We are hoping they are able to move soon. It is going to be so wonderful to have them up here. Levi will be able to see and hang out w/ the cousins he grew up w/. The kids can all play together and have play dates. And I, for one, fully plan on having a girls-night and take my cousin-in-law out around the town.

I really must also admit I am enjoying my last 4 days off from school. Jack Frost gave us an epic snow day to be remembered. The huge snow drift in front of my house and the fallen tree have proven that. Altho the 27hrs of no heat sucked...but we all survived and proved we are pretty ingenious when it comes down to things. Tea candles are for more than just lighting up jack-o'-lanterns. Lol.

Now back to my crazy life and busy schedule. Hoping things settle down soon so I can take a much needed breather.

Lucky number 7

Levi and I will have been together 7yrs next month. Kinda crazy to think about. Even crazier to think about how our relationship came about, evolved, and works. We truly are not a normal couple. We don't follow social norms or conventions.

Levi and I knew each other a wk before we got together. We were together only 2 wks before we unofficially moved in together and together 2 months when we officially moved in together. We were together a yr before we were engaged, 2 yrs when we were married.

Even our "family" life isn't normal. We were together only 6 months before I got pregnant. (Found out at 7 months together). I got pregnant again right away after our first child was born...we found out when he was 6 months old. Our children are literally 13 months apart.

It is kinda funny to think when "marriage" was brought up. During the first 3 days together, we talked about everything including our own personal beliefs (or lack of belief) in marriage. And that was it. We never brought it up again...not even when we found out I was pregnant. It just wasn't "important" to either of us when we found out....which, of course, makes me feel like our marriage is even better. Neither one of us pushed the matter on the other. Levi came to his own decision on whether or not to marry me. I didn't pressure him, and he didn't pressure me. Nor was there any pressure from either one of our families. Of course, no discussion of marriage or engagements at all made the proposal all that much more surprising and better...and special.

Of course, our wedding was on our own time as well. We didn't "race" anyone to the alter. We just got married when we decided to. Our wedding was made very special because even tho our wedding was small, all our family was there... his sisters, mom, and dad; my parents, and siblings. Everyone who meant the world to us. It was not just "a quickie to make it legal" nor a "race." It was our moment of love being celebrated in front of everyone we loved. Our family was there to witness this and to support us.

The fact that each pregnancy brought us together instead of tearing us apart is also truly amazing. Not many couples survive a pregnancy that early in a relationship like we did. Nor do many couples survive a second pregnancy so soon after the first one. But we did...and grew so much closer together. Each of our children was conceived in love and nothing will ever change that.

Altho we have been "legally" (as in the eyes of the law) married for 5 yrs, Levi keeps saying that we have been married 7yrs. I believe this speaks volumes in itself. It means that from the very beginning, we have been committed to each other for the long hall. Yes, originally our plan was just to have a summer fling but both of us quickly realized that Fate had other plans for us. We loved each other and knew we would be together for a long time. Through good times and bad, we have been there for each other and will continue to be so.

We follow our own rules. We go by our own natural pace. We follow no one. We refuse to go by what others say. We find out what works for us and go by that even if it isn't considered "right." Seven yrs together has taught us many things. More importantly, seven yrs together has taught us that only we can define us, no one else. Our relationship is our relationship. No one can change anything in our relationship but us.

We are equals in this relationship. Neither one controls the other. We both have a say in what happens. We are both willing and wanting to be in this relationship. We do not blackmail one or the other to keep them in the relationship. We fix the problems that make one or the other unhappy. We are open and honest w/ each other. We do not hide anything from each other. This is our relationship.

Seven yrs together plus two children and we are stilling going strong. Seven years of love and companionship with the most amazing man I know, my husband. My lover.

(Yeah my life rocks!)

Bliss!

It is so wonderful to be able to snuggle w/ my husband every night and go to bed. It is perfectly wonderful to have the same schedule as my husband. Ah those 6 pain-in-the-ass months are just a memory now.

For 6 months, Levi and I had total opposite schedules. He worked all night long while I slept. He would sleep while the kids and I were at school. He had wkends off while I worked. I spent the majority of my nights and wkends doing homework otherwise. Totally opposite schedules. The only time we really had together as a family was dinner. We made sure every night, we would eat together as a family.

But that is all over. He switched to days and the last 3 months have been amazing. We are all on the same schedule which is awesome. I am no longer working and Levi still have wkends off. I just love snuggling w/ my husband every night. The only thing that hasn't changed is that we still eat dinner together as a family...minus any date nights Levi and I have.

I seriously am just loving this. I love my family and having our family time. Now if it would just slow down on the rain so we can spend more time outside! lol.

Random moment

I love my classes this semester. In one of my classes, I was asked to write a paper on a remembered event and I chose the day my husband and I met. I actually really enjoyed writing this paper because it not only let me take a trip down memory lane but it also reminded me of a few things that I had forgotten.

For my paper, I had to recall thoughts, feelings and absolute images that I had to put into words. It was really pretty crazy because it reminded me that our meeting was totally unexpected and utterly unplanned. For me, it was just suppose to be a day of hanging out w/ friends.

Levi and I met through his cousin, Dan, whom had gotten a call earlier in the day from Levi wanting to hang out. The day we met was kind of a 'day of meetings' for my husband as he not only met me (Dan's friend) but Dan's newborn daughter, Endora and his baby momma for the 1st time. (A lil fact ppl seem to forget when they try to re-write history). (Can't introduce one person to another when you don't even know the 1st person in the first place). It was also the day I met my future in-laws, his sisters and mother.

I remember all the feelings I had and all the crazy things we did that. It is even crazier to think a wk after meeting, Levi and I were dating w/ the intentions of it being a summer fling. Lmao. Oh boy, did Fate have another plan for us. Almost 7 yrs later, we are married and have 2 kids together. Our relationship has survived a lot of crazy and turbulent times. Who knew I would find the love of my life right after high school.

(High school...full of nothing but horny immature morons who are looking for nothing but getting down your pants and the ridiculously foolish girls who believe their lies. And everyone wonders why I vehemently refused to date when I was in high school. Yeah I was way too smart to fall into that trap and had much better things to do w/ my time.)

I also had to write a paper about a remembered person in my life who had a major impact. I chose an old friend whom I no longer talk to but, nonetheless, had a major and lasting effect on my life. Her question stills has me puzzling over things. Anyway, the point of the paper wasn't just about the person...but also about all the people who had an effect on our lives. It reminded me, once again, that every person we meet leaves a lesson or impression on us, good or bad. It reminded me that life is a continuous journey w/ many stops, bumps, and lessons along the way.

The whirlwind of crazy that is my life right now.

Kids, test, homework, housework, and classes. The last few months have just been a whirlwind of craziness. I have been so busy w/ school, kids and work that I barely get a breather. But I am taking one now. Can't believe I am almost done w/ my 1st yr of school! How crazy is that?!

This 1st yr is going great...minus the minor (and a few major) hiccups. My 1st semester was laid back and nice, which was totally perfect for going back to school for the 1st time in 6yrs. I really enjoyed and loved having the room for to breathe and expand my horizons. I got back into the groove of things much faster than I expected, altho I think it helped that all my classes were something I was interested in. I did extraordinarily well considering it was my 1st semester. I got all A's except one B...and had a very high GPA. I even made the dean's list!

The only major hiccup I had for my 1st semester was my uncle's death. He died the wk of my finals. It was a major blow for my family and I. It left me personally devastated. My uncle came into my life a very long time ago but became a permanent fixture in my life about 10yrs ago when he married my aunt. In many ways, he was my only and true uncle I ever had...despite the many uncles on my Dad's side. He made our (mine and my family's) lives so much brighter. I was extremely distraught and devastated when he was diagnosed w/ an inoperable brain cancer September 2011. I just couldn't lose my uncle! His diagnosis was part of the reason we moved back home and am I ever glad we did. I am so glad I got the time w/ him that I did. I am so glad I got to have that long talk w/ him after I got back.

A yr after he was diagnosed, we learned the chemo wasn't working for him. His tumor had not shrunk nor had it gotten any bigger. However, the chemo had done other things to him, damage. The chemo had caused my uncle to lose almost all his motor functions. He couldn't walk or stand on his own. He couldn't talk- he literally sounded like someone who had a stroke or someone who had been drinking. He was confined to a wheelchair and could barley feed himself. Despite all this, my uncle never lost his sense of humor. Throughout the whole ordeal, my uncle was always his happy, go-lucky, self and joked about everything. Even when he lost 3/4th of his toe from his dog chewing it off (he had an infection in the toe and she chewed it off to keep it from spreading and probably saved his life at the time), he would joke and laugh about it. Ultimately my uncle lost his battle w/ the cancer and died peacefully in his sleep. The loss of my uncle was unimaginably heartbreaking for us....but I am happy he is at peace now. His death was the black mark of my 1st semester, Christmas, and year. I miss him very much.

Despite the painful loss of my uncle, I went into my 2nd semester with hope and a purpose: to make my uncle proud. This semester has been super crazy w/ my full schedule of classes but I think I have managed it alright. I joined a honor fraternity/sorority, much to my family's delight. I am making new friends and coming out of my shell. I just might end up a social butterfly after this whole experience. lol. I still have a few wks of craziness to endure before the semester is over but I think I will enjoy it.